-LRB- CNN -RRB- -- I do n't know if it 's sexism or wisdom or just plain fear , but men have been socialized to avoid saying two words in the presence of women .

The first is `` fat . ''

I know I do n't go there .

And I do n't see a good reason why any man should .

When women use the word around me I pretend not to hear it , and if asked a question with the word `` fat '' in it , I sneeze in my hand and then ask for a tissue . Juvenile , yes , but it allows me to change the subject without having to answer the question . And I do n't ever want to answer that question .

Speaking of questions , the second word we should all stay away from is `` weave . ''

I do n't care if a man sees a woman bald at the office on Wednesday , with blond finger waves at the club on Friday , and with jet black hair down to her butt at church on Sunday -- if anyone asks if she wears a weave , the answer is `` I do n't know . '' She could be holding a receipt from Weaves R Us in one hand , and five pounds of hair in the other , and he should say `` I 'm not sure . ''

At the salon where I get my dreadlocks retwisted , every third woman walks in with a bag of hair . I keep my head down , eyes closed and try not to breathe . I want to be as invisible as possible , because the last thing I want is for a woman in there to think I 'm aware of her lace-front , glued-in , braided back or whatever it is she 's got going on up there .

And every man I know harbors that same level of sexism/wisdom/fear .

Which is why I had to talk to Blaine Stewart , who was not only brave and/or stupid enough to bring up his co-worker 's weave -- he did it right in front of her face .

On live TV .

Stewart and Laila Muhammad host the morning show for WGNT in Norfolk , Virginia . During the Halloween broadcast , Stewart blew out the candle inside the jack-o ' - lantern sitting on the desk . Muhammad joked that if the smoke from the candle set off the studio sprinkler system , `` I 'm done for the day . ''

`` Sitting up here looking like a mop , '' she said .

That 's when my main man Stewart chimed in , `` You do not want a sprinkler system and a beautiful weave , because they do not go together . ''

Right now you 're probably thinking : Oh no he did n't .

And I 'm here to tell you : Oh yes he did .

And even as Muhammad stared at him with her mouth hanging open and a high-pitched wail filling the room , poor Stewart went on to say `` You said it was a weave -- right ? ''

I had n't laughed that hard at a YouTube clip since Antoine Dodson told us to hide our kids . And sites such as YBF and Lipstick Alley had a field day .

`` I knew the first rule about not talking about fat , but I did n't know the second , '' he said . `` No one told me about the second . ''

Which is why I had to write this column , in an effort to save lives this holiday season . Men , I do n't care if half of her track is dangling in a pot of black-eyed peas , you do not acknowledge that weave . You sneeze in your hand and go to the bathroom and pray that an aunt , a cousin , someone has told her by the time you get out .

Now , Muhammad and Stewart are great friends , and their rapport plays well on camera -- even while `` weave-gate '' was unfolding . The two even put out a follow-up to try to add more context to the story . Stewart , who is bald , said the two actually talk about weaves on the show quite a bit , something he attributes to his latent hair envy .

Muhammad said the fact that she wears a weave is not a secret at the studio . She actually has long hair that is n't permed , but she chooses to wear a weave because daily exposure to the heat from the studio lights can damage hair . But Muhammad said while she was comfortable with Stewart and others knowing , she was shocked `` he put all of my business out there like that . ''

`` I was n't mad at him -- but he clearly did n't know the rule , '' she said , laughing . `` No , I did n't run to HR . No , I did n't beat him up off set . No , I did n't have to explain my blackness to him afterwards . It was clear he was trying to make a compliment . ... He did n't mean to call me out . ''

But that did n't stop some people from drawing a different , less forgiving conclusion .

`` I was a little surprised by some of the pretty harsh things people said about me , '' Stewart said . `` I do n't believe I 'm a racist or a white devil or a bitchy queen as some people have posted about me . I just was n't thinking .

`` But it 's funny , we can talk about fake eyelashes , lip gloss , makeup and all of the other enhancements that we do , but when it comes to hair , we keep quiet . It 's the last taboo . ''

That 's when I stepped in and reminded Stewart that while `` weave-gate '' was bad , hair is not the last taboo . And if he did n't believe me , he should try bringing up the word `` fat '' and see what happens .

Of course , I wo n't do it .

I know the rules .

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of LZ Granderson .

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LZ Granderson says there are a couple of words men should avoid when talking with women

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The words : `` Fat '' and `` weave . '' But a TV host mentioned his female co-host 's weave on air

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Granderson says the male co-host said he did n't know the rule

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Granderson : Men , you can mention almost anything else -- but not the weave